Did we have a choice?
Do you ever look back and think about what life would have been like if you had made a different decision? I do. I think it’s human nature to imagine where other paths might have taken you. Sometimes I think about the summer we downsized, and I can’t help but wonder if we even had a choice to move.
At the time it didn’t seem like we had an option. Financially, the numbers just wouldn’t add up on paper for us to stay in the house and have me only work part-time. At the time I felt trapped, pushed into a move I didn’t want to make. But now, I see our options differently. Life often seems much more black-and-white in hindsight, doesn’t it?
Did we have alternatives that would have allowed us to stay put in our comfortable home? Sure! We certainly had a choice. We had a couple, in fact. Downsizing simply seemed the most reasonable way to achieve the family lifestyle we desired—me being primarily a homemaker.
Option #1: We could have reevaluated our income.
We wouldn’t have had to move to the Shoebox if we had put our energy into making more money. But first of all, that decision would have clashed with our hopeful lifestyle — I wanted to stay home. (And Caveman was looking for a new job, however nothing panned out at the time.) Secondly, I loved the organization for which I worked. (I’ll tell you more about it sometime!) I loved the job, and I loved the people so I was unwilling to leave. Sometimes quality of workplace makes up for what a paycheck might not provide. In short, we didn’t want to fall prey to the lie that if we work harder to make more money, we’ll be happier. Because it doesn’t work that way.
Option #2: We could have faked it.
We wouldn’t have had to move to the Shoebox if we had simply kept our current jobs, applied for more credit cards and dug into debt in order to sustain our comfortable lifestyle. (Not that we lived extravagantly by any means; it was just what we were used to.) Honestly this idea was never really on the table, but hey, we could have done it! Sadly, I think that the pattern of relying on credit to live is most common these days in the good ‘ol US of A, especially among my generation.
We are children of entitlement. So when our lives at 25 don’t match the affluence of our parents at 55, we forget about all the life they’ve lived and all the work they’ve done to achieve that level. We whine that our counters aren’t granite and that we won’t be traveling to Maui this summer, and then we pull out the plastic to prove to the world (and ourselves) that we can afford all that and more. And that’s why many young families are drowning in debt and still working themselves ragged to keep up with the Joneses (or their parents).
My rant on entitlement is over, but let me clarify this: I say “we” in the above paragraph because I know the personal struggle of wanting more and desiring to appear richer than we might in fact be. It turns out that Caveman and I chose the opposite of Option #2. We cut up all our credit cards and decided to live without the invisible life-lines of ongoing loans. We are slowly but surely chiseling away at a little bit of school debt, but once that is gone we will be debt-free and credit card-free. And that’s a choice I’m glad we made.
So in that second when I doubt our decision and wonder what I’m doing here (usually those moments come after I kick the rusted metal cover off the ancient baseboard heater for the hundredth time), I can rest easy knowing that we chose this. It was the best decision for us at the time, and even now I don’t regret it. The Shoebox was then—and is now—a blessing to us.
Oh yes. This was our choice. And now, almost three years after moving in, I’d make the same decision to Shoebox again.
What about you? Is there a decision that you see differently now that time has passed? Would you change your choice?
You know I remember my mother complaining because she wanted a new dining room set like her mother had, but she wanted a bigger one as well. I knew my grandparents were proud of their dining room set, as they had waited for it for years, not having enough while raising children to be able to afford it earlier and wondered why my mother thought she should have something she hadn’t worked for yet. Maybe it’s that memory that formed my views on materialism.
What a powerful memory, Lois! I love that you were aware of how hard your grandparents worked for their new set and therefore appreciated the value of it. Thanks so much for sharing.
ah … the era of entitlement! thanks for championing the opposite … and doing it in such a compelling, inviting way!
Haha, yes the era. Thanks, Linda.
Being debt-free is never the wrong choice, because debt is enslavement encroaching on your options and sabotaging peace of mind. Congratulations on your choice.
Thanks, Angela. *SIGH* We’re getting there!
I love this post, I am so very rpoud of your decisions and priorities and I really love you!!!
Love you back, Vsis.
You write so well about an issue that is so important in all our lives. The choices we make shape who we are and the journey we take through life. As parents it is so important to demonstrate to our children that the choices we make involving money are done so to live within our means, and that saving is important too. We have friends who have over four times the income that we have but they are constantly in debt and having to watch their pennies when they food shop. Yet they take two or three overseas holidays every year. Their choice is to not live within their means, but it is not for me. Like you we are debt free and worked hard to pay off our mortgage in a few years, we are happy even though we have a very low income. Good food is more important to me than overseas holidays!
You’re an inspiration, SustainableMum! Oh the dream of paying off the mortgage… You’re right though. I guess life does boil down to the decisions we make each moment. Thanks for joining in the discussion!
Yes! You are so right! Our kids share rooms. How uncommon that is these days! And do you know what? It’s lovely living in a small home where we are forced to see each other. Some days I would love more space but most of the time I love the way we live. And EVERY day I am so grateful that we have a home and are comfortable! Great post and I’m glad you’re happy in your shoebox!
Thanks for sharing, Linda. It’s true that we all have our days when we think a downstairs play area would be nice (those times have been coming for us about about 10:00 a.m. here in the wintertime!
) … but overall, it IS so nice to learn to live life closely and as a unit. I think that kids sharing a room teaches them valuable lessons… and hopefully not be too scarring. 
Thank you for this post. I enjoy all of these smallishblog posts. Is smallish by any chance accepting freelance posts? I’m an undergrad sophomore and I moved from a huge beautiful condo to a quite tiny apartment and I’m much happier there for a variety of factors. Let me know if this would be of interest:)
I’ll email you, Stephanie, and we can talk about it. Glad to have you here!
Does the fact that I want to spend even MORE money on a wedding? Even though I can’t afford it? Yup-your post might be applicable to me! This is such a difficult practice for me-and SO frustrating because I kinda thought I had the whole living-simply thing down. But apparently, when given lots of money, I spend it without much thought! Ugh… Thanks for the encouragement though friend!
Sarah, you’re so right that it’s easier to blow money when you have more. You’re doing great though– a wedding is a once in a lifetime thing. Do it right!
You know, a lot of times, in the past, we would get jealous of friends and relatives have so much more, fancier, and newer stuff than us. We have this run-down house, old cars, etc. But they are all so *busy*. We’ve chosen time over money, and I think we’ve come out ahead for it.
Plus, when you’re on your boat, you can just sail away from all the troubles of the world…..